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The Chemistry of everyday life, an HIV blogger. Twitter: @tcghiv | Email:

Another First Time

So my life goes on.... I'm now "reactive", sorry guys I just don't want to use the term Positive nor Pos nor Poz nor Pusit nor PLHIV. I'm still on the stage of acceptance, for this instance it will help me do so.

So here we goes, a new life of certainty and challenges...
Just like what everybody is saying, Every day is now a challenge of survival.

Instead of being depressed and crying all night long, Though I cried twice. Why not think of ways
to improve my life and start living a productive as I can.

First times that made an awkward moment...

1. when i was in Makati Medical Center for my initial screening;

my feeling was totally overwhelmed and mixed with emotions, sobrang kabado and was already planning what to do next as if i knew for myself na positive na ko.

There was this young nurse of my age who was just friendly, she told me that it's her first time to extract 5 vials of blood and she's excited since i was her first HIV screening patient. Thanks to this friendly nurse, I felt the care and exclusivity inside the room... too bad i forgot to ask for her name.

Wondering why 5vials? a. CBC, b. Hepa C c. Hepa B d. VRDL e. HIV anitbody test.

Days after the test, everything came out "non-reactive" and bingo! i got a lifetime achievement award. I'll never forget that nurse...

2. What to do after conversion? the first game plan is to prevent depression, how to do it?
meet reactive guys! I created an account in one of the most popular gay sites and to my luck i found guys who's worth my trust and meeting to.

I met Guy X and explained everything in a short span of 1.5hrs. He's nice and looks good too... no one would ever think.
Guy Y and I planned to meet up and have a talk but unknown to my senses, he's with reactive barkadas as well, blush came into my face and i don't know what to do,

hello, this is so awkward.. guys of unknown faces and names stare at you.

Point of no return, just go with the flow... these guys knows best. and there you go, another set of new friends.

3. I decided to go to RITM for my first base line check up, or whatever clinical term they use..
again, strange faces of unknown names scatter upon my eyes. it feels awkward but then again, you need to go with the flow... good thing i was with Guy Y. The room was studded with guys and they're so noisy as if it's like a party... Cool environment i should say. Until a guy entered the room and caught my attention........

OMG, an officemate!

chills ran down through my body and right away i stumbled my eyes away from him. he sat infront of me and i was speechless, this can't be happening.. I need to break the ice.... and there you go, another acquaintance turned friend.

on a lighter note, this conversion led me to more friends and acquaintances, which is good kasi
i dont have much network to lay down..

these were some of the events im looking forward to meet again... hopefully, not that awkward.