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The Chemistry of everyday life, an HIV blogger. Twitter: @tcghiv | Email: tetrahydroziline@gmail.com

On dating and beyond

Been into dates the past months - it didn't work well. Or should I say, I never worked out.

Eye opener:
Regardless if you're HIV free or acquired it, dating and relationships will still be dependent on you and the other party. 

I thought dating a comrade of the same sero-status will give an assurance that everything will work fine - It's not.

Scene 1:
Dating someone who's negative (assuming) is quite a challenge, all is well.. you act normal as if you don't have any condition, date for a couple of weeks or months, being attached emotionally, you confess your status, he (your date) was in shock, eventually he refused and now... you're depressed and rejected. 

Scene 2: 
You met a co-sero positive guy, decided to meet, dated for while, he doesn't like you or I don't like him and the dating stop. No communication after. Superficiality can come to anyone. 

Scene 3: 
You met a co-sero positive guy, date for a while, it went well, you like each other and voila! happily ever after.

Scene 4:
You met this negative guy (assuming), dated for a while, you like him and he likes you, you confess your sero-status, he chose to be with you (lucky you) and go happily ever after.

Experienced scene 2, two months in a row, and it might go to 3 peat. I'll make entries for each of them.

18 comments:

Anonymous { Monday, October 3, 2011 at 12:35:00 AM GMT+8 }
i dont have the guts to tell anyone of my status.. im
afraid for my family's sake... but i dont want to be alone
The Chemistry Guy { Monday, October 3, 2011 at 1:11:00 AM GMT+8 }
Anonymous said...
i dont have the guts to tell anyone of my status.. im
afraid for my family's sake... but i dont want to be alone


the best thing to do is choose good friends who you can trust and open things up.. :) cheers! you're not alone.
Ubermensch { Monday, October 3, 2011 at 1:55:00 AM GMT+8 }
am trying scene 3. =D or maybe 4?
Cytokine Storm { Monday, October 3, 2011 at 2:18:00 AM GMT+8 }
I've tried Scene 2 and am currently experiencing Scene 4. I agree with what you said about dating and relationships though. It's a two-way street.
Anonymous { Monday, October 3, 2011 at 2:30:00 AM GMT+8 }
i was referring to dating... i never got into any relationship yet after i found out my status... although they say there is a need to disclose to
potential partner... im afraid of the rejection and be known by someone to be pos
fallen angel { Monday, October 3, 2011 at 7:18:00 AM GMT+8 }
Experienced scene 2. The difference is we still communicate. Or at least I try.

Looking forward to scene 3 or maybe 4 =)
2ndlease { Tuesday, October 4, 2011 at 9:01:00 PM GMT+8 }
Oh my, ever since my diagnosis, dating hasn't really crossed my mind.

I honestly do not know how to deal with the situation.

In fact, I've grown indifferent to dating, which is sad, I brush the thought aside. Parang it's in the realm of fantasy muna, while I figure things out.
The Chemistry Guy { Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 3:47:00 AM GMT+8 }
Anonymous said...
i was referring to dating... i never got into any relationship yet after i found out my status... although they say there is a need to disclose to
potential partner... im afraid of the rejection and be known by someone to be pos

Monday, October 3, 2011 2:30:00 AM GMT+08:00


like what i said, choose your friends (who to disclose with). all starts with being friends. :)
The Chemistry Guy { Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 3:48:00 AM GMT+8 }
fallen angel said...
Experienced scene 2. The difference is we still communicate. Or at least I try.

Looking forward to scene 3 or maybe 4 =)


good for you! not for me though.. lol
The Chemistry Guy { Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 3:49:00 AM GMT+8 }
2ndlease said...
Oh my, ever since my diagnosis, dating hasn't really crossed my mind.

I honestly do not know how to deal with the situation.

In fact, I've grown indifferent to dating, which is sad, I brush the thought aside. Parang it's in the realm of fantasy muna, while I figure things out.


there's no harm in trying, the only thing is there would be more consequences than what was used to be. :)
The Chemistry Guy { Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 3:49:00 AM GMT+8 }
Ubermensch said...
am trying scene 3. =D or maybe 4?


balita ko nga. lol
The Chemistry Guy { Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 3:50:00 AM GMT+8 }
Cytokine Storm said...
I've tried Scene 2 and am currently experiencing Scene 4. I agree with what you said about dating and relationships though. It's a two-way street


buti ka pa.. swerte ka. pakilala mo kaya samen..
fallen angel { Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 7:16:00 AM GMT+8 }
But like 2ndlease, I am having second thoughts now. Even on dating. True that there are lot of consequences, lot more than usual.

Long shot na nga ang love e, pero parang longer shot ang dating. hahaha!
Ubermensch { Saturday, October 8, 2011 at 4:29:00 PM GMT+8 }
kanino mo naman nabalitaan? =D
The Chemistry Guy { Sunday, October 9, 2011 at 1:33:00 AM GMT+8 }
fallen angel said...
But like 2ndlease, I am having second thoughts now. Even on dating. True that there are lot of consequences, lot more than usual.

Long shot na nga ang love e, pero parang longer shot ang dating. hahaha!


true, another screening step. lol

but they are still few good men.
The Chemistry Guy { Sunday, October 9, 2011 at 1:33:00 AM GMT+8 }
Ubermensch said...
kanino mo naman nabalitaan? =D


edi sa FB? lol hahaha
fallen angel { Sunday, October 9, 2011 at 3:20:00 PM GMT+8 }
Darating din yun, sabi nga ni big brother...Sa takdang panahon...lol
Cytokine Storm { Monday, October 24, 2011 at 10:15:00 PM GMT+8 }
Let's go out sometime soon. Sama naten siya.