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The Chemistry of everyday life, an HIV blogger. Twitter: @tcghiv | Email: tetrahydroziline@gmail.com

I'm not an option

Got a couple of hours to splurge to.. So why not make another entry.

I'm pigging out myself with salt and ketchup. This is how I love my fries.

Ma texted asking where am I. Having doubts of him seeing me somewhere along the way, I asked him 'why?'

'I'm here in Glorietta with my bro.'

Coincendentally, I'm having my lunch in the same spot too. Getting straight to the point, I don't wanna see him. I wanna be alone.

I continued my salt craving and tried observing people while listening to my ipod, my bestfriend. Another hot manager stumbled upon my entrance, what's with this resto as they hire cute management trainees? Great biceps on a super tight fitting sleeve..

Contemplating on my past relationships, it's been a while. Almost 4 years have passed since my serious one. The one that lasted for more that a year. Well, a couple of years ago I had one but it didn't last that long though he can still be considered. So there were 2. I have tons of dates and flings but not a single guy worked out. Been through the thick and thin of the LGBT world. Maybe that's why I tested out positive. Experience really gave me the lessons I need to take. Modesty aside, I'm not stupid. I know how the world revolves around the sun. Yes, it's hard to be smart coz you tend to set standards, when you have standards, you tend yo be choosy. Yes, I'm choosy. Simple, I know what I want.

Now that I am sero-converted, hiv positive. I will still be choosy. It is better to set standards than to be fooled. Just like what happened a couple of days ago. I just knew that I was an 'option'. Maybe because I am positive and the other is negative. Another reason not to be engaged in a 'Magnetic' relationship (me, positive. Partner is negative). Good thing I'm smart enough. I'm already immunocompromised then why let my emotions be compromised as well. One's thing is for sure, I won't become a relationship-desperate retard. I'd rather cry every night than to look for an irrational relationship.

Just like what Tata Young said..

Don't want to depend on no-one else
I'd rather rescue myself

I can slay, my own dragon
I can dream, my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I'm gonna set me free

10 comments:

Eternal Wanderer... { Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 8:14:00 AM GMT+8 }
you and you alone define what you want ;)
paci { Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 8:55:00 AM GMT+8 }
let me raise my french fries to that! =)
canonista { Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 9:48:00 AM GMT+8 }
Nice entry! Kudos to your strength!
The Chemistry Guy { Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 2:37:00 PM GMT+8 }
Eternal,
Yeah! thanks friend.. :)
The Chemistry Guy { Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 2:37:00 PM GMT+8 }
Paci.

With tons of salt and ketchup!
The Chemistry Guy { Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 2:38:00 PM GMT+8 }
King,
you know para kanino ang post na to.. :) See you around!
Ex Jason { Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 10:55:00 PM GMT+8 }
sinubukan ko tuloy talagang lagyan ng mdaming salt at ketchup fries ko. it was nice, though i still prefer dipping it in sundae. =P

there are actually a lot of quality guys. we just have to stop looking at the wrong places.
The Chemistry Guy { Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 11:17:00 PM GMT+8 }
it's nice right..
well, it's matter of trial and error lang.. :)
Anonymous { Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 11:39:00 PM GMT+8 }
that is what i feel most of the time too, being hiv+ myself. but as i read through your posts, i see/feel that you have a very positive (no pun intended) outlook and i must give you credit for that (mike h42008009)
The Chemistry Guy { Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 11:42:00 PM GMT+8 }
hi mike from h4! nice hearing from you.. :)
i must... :)