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The Chemistry of everyday life, an HIV blogger. Twitter: @tcghiv | Email: tetrahydroziline@gmail.com

Assertion


Two weeks ago, just in time for the World AIDS Day celebration, it suddenly came into my mind to disclose my status to one of my ex. When I was having my CD4 test like 3 weeks ago, it popped my topsy-turvy mind that I need someone to be a confidant or someone to talk to regarding this (as suggested by Ate Ellen) and I thought of my ex. The reason is, I trust him more than anyone else. I know it has been more than 5 years since we parted ways but the trust is still there and cannot be undone.

Days like this I want to talk to someone and have a reliable shoulder to lean on so why not try.

Right that very moment I sent an sms asking us to meet over the weekend for some coffee and dinner. He asked why and what for, I told him just to come and we will be talking something serious about myself. 

I still have a week to gain confidence and was thinking of how to do it. 

The weekend came and was waiting from him to remind me that we are about to meet. No sms nor call.. no nothing from him. Sunday has passed and still, I was like a spider waiting for a damsel fly.

I asked a poz friend on how to deal with this, I asked whether if we can just talk over the phone or exchange messages. My friend told me not to - "you won't see his reactions once you disclosed your status" True enough.

I decided not to push through with it, perhaps my ex is not the best person to disclose my status. I am waiting for something from him that will make him a deserving guy to further give my trust to - ASSERTION.

3 comments:

LonelyBoi { Friday, December 7, 2012 at 2:16:00 PM GMT+8 }
How are you?
LonelyBoi { Friday, December 7, 2012 at 2:17:00 PM GMT+8 }
how are you?
The Chemistry Guy { Saturday, December 8, 2012 at 1:31:00 AM GMT+8 }
im not really sure how to answer that.