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The Chemistry of everyday life, an HIV blogger. Twitter: @tcghiv | Email: tetrahydroziline@gmail.com

A risk postulate

I engaged myself into the dating scene last month which didn't work well. I have heard that this guy (link) just ended his premature relationship... and the reason is me. I don't know how to understand and comprehend the meaning of this but why the hell I am involved with this?

When I learned over Facebook that my [ex] date changed his status to "in a relationship".. I said "whoa, that was fast.. we just dated 2 weeks ago and now he has a bf - I know this is a premature engagement and it will end sooner than expected" and it did.

Now, he's claiming me back.. trying to apologize for not waiting and being impatient for not breaking my shell. Yes, I admit that I impose a hard shell to break. I don't typically show my weak point/s to any human entities. I am the opposite of vulnerability. An oyster with a hard shell, needs effort to open and see the pearl (melodramatic).

Now,  he's like messaging me from every channel he could. From Facebook, to Viber or whatever that may come in handy.

I have set things straight, I told him I'm not your fall back guy. Not an option to be taken for granted. I just don't know if he'll accept it whole-heatedly or still be the persistent fly to roam around me.

One thing is for sure, I would no longer date him. We can go out, but as buddies. No more, no less.

Besides, he doesn't know my sero-status. What could be the worse thing that can happen?

In relation to this, I have some postulates - assumptions or whatever you call it.

The Risk postulate
I am an HIV-positive guy, opened my doors to date another guy (assuming he's negative), went out together for some time, feelings are now on the steady state then admitted my status... he declined and ran away. It's pretty hard to find and date guys whose minds are as wide as an airport runway. Many have told, if you are to disclose your status to a guy, don't do it immediately. Let the connection between you build up before letting it all out.

I have experienced a couple who deemed to show whether they can accept my status or not. I have mentioned in a blog post, perhaps 2 years ago, I asked this guy about the "non-negotiable" factors or traits for a future relationship.. he said, "he must be HIV negative". Ok... PASS.

This is getting into a trend. I won't take a risk.

I'm not really talking about "in general", there are still some guys who are really open minded - those educated bitches who know how to accept and understand the scenario. I know some HIV-positive friends who engage into magnetic or sero-discordant relationships. I'm just wondering - "WHERE THE HELL DO THEY FIND THESE GUYS?!"

7 comments:

LonelyBoi { Wednesday, December 12, 2012 at 11:06:00 AM GMT+8 }
Hi CG, kamusta na? Di muna ko natatandaan noh! ~ Jesse
The Chemistry Guy { Thursday, December 13, 2012 at 1:06:00 AM GMT+8 }
Jesse..

I'm trying to remember. I think I know you... shoot me an email.
Victor Saudad { Saturday, December 15, 2012 at 7:14:00 PM GMT+8 }
hmm, your best bet is to date a friend.
lettersformike { Saturday, December 15, 2012 at 11:17:00 PM GMT+8 }
Such a depressing story. There are really people whom you can't please. My prayers are to you and I hope you overcome your struggle. Just think that there are still people like us who understand. Visit me back.
www.lettersformike.wordpress.com
Sober { Friday, December 21, 2012 at 1:03:00 AM GMT+8 }
honestly, i'm back to PR and it's the same idea lingering in my head: "how can i make my skeleton in my closet known?"

my head is urging me to quit it and delete my account before i find someone and someone finds me and both of us end up having mutual feelings for each other.

i really don't know what to do. i'm just riding with the waves.
The Chemistry Guy { Tuesday, December 25, 2012 at 11:09:00 PM GMT+8 }
Sober { Friday, December 21, 2012 1:03:00 AM GMT+08:00 }
honestly, i'm back to PR and it's the same idea lingering in my head: "how can i make my skeleton in my closet known?"

my head is urging me to quit it and delete my account before i find someone and someone finds me and both of us end up having mutual feelings for each other.

i really don't know what to do. i'm just riding with the waves.


i know how you feel, :|
The Chemistry Guy { Tuesday, December 25, 2012 at 11:10:00 PM GMT+8 }
Victor Saudad said...

hmm, your best bet is to date a friend.

Saturday, December 15, 2012 7:14:00 PM GMT+08:00


i don't have any to date to and im afraid of doing so.,