- The Chemistry Guy
- The Chemistry of everyday life, an HIV blogger. Twitter: @tcghiv | Email: tetrahydroziline@gmail.com
Showing posts with label breaking up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breaking up. Show all posts
A risk postulate
I engaged myself into the dating scene last month which didn't work well. I have heard that this guy (link) just ended his premature relationship... and the reason is me. I don't know how to understand and comprehend the meaning of this but why the hell I am involved with this?
When I learned over Facebook that my [ex] date changed his status to "in a relationship".. I said "whoa, that was fast.. we just dated 2 weeks ago and now he has a bf - I know this is a premature engagement and it will end sooner than expected" and it did.
Now, he's claiming me back.. trying to apologize for not waiting and being impatient for not breaking my shell. Yes, I admit that I impose a hard shell to break. I don't typically show my weak point/s to any human entities. I am the opposite of vulnerability. An oyster with a hard shell, needs effort to open and see the pearl (melodramatic).
Now, he's like messaging me from every channel he could. From Facebook, to Viber or whatever that may come in handy.
I have set things straight, I told him I'm not your fall back guy. Not an option to be taken for granted. I just don't know if he'll accept it whole-heatedly or still be the persistent fly to roam around me.
One thing is for sure, I would no longer date him. We can go out, but as buddies. No more, no less.
Besides, he doesn't know my sero-status. What could be the worse thing that can happen?
In relation to this, I have some postulates - assumptions or whatever you call it.
The Risk postulate
I am an HIV-positive guy, opened my doors to date another guy (assuming he's negative), went out together for some time, feelings are now on the steady state then admitted my status... he declined and ran away. It's pretty hard to find and date guys whose minds are as wide as an airport runway. Many have told, if you are to disclose your status to a guy, don't do it immediately. Let the connection between you build up before letting it all out.
I have experienced a couple who deemed to show whether they can accept my status or not. I have mentioned in a blog post, perhaps 2 years ago, I asked this guy about the "non-negotiable" factors or traits for a future relationship.. he said, "he must be HIV negative". Ok... PASS.
This is getting into a trend. I won't take a risk.
I'm not really talking about "in general", there are still some guys who are really open minded - those educated bitches who know how to accept and understand the scenario. I know some HIV-positive friends who engage into magnetic or sero-discordant relationships. I'm just wondering - "WHERE THE HELL DO THEY FIND THESE GUYS?!"
When I learned over Facebook that my [ex] date changed his status to "in a relationship".. I said "whoa, that was fast.. we just dated 2 weeks ago and now he has a bf - I know this is a premature engagement and it will end sooner than expected" and it did.
Now, he's claiming me back.. trying to apologize for not waiting and being impatient for not breaking my shell. Yes, I admit that I impose a hard shell to break. I don't typically show my weak point/s to any human entities. I am the opposite of vulnerability. An oyster with a hard shell, needs effort to open and see the pearl (melodramatic).
Now, he's like messaging me from every channel he could. From Facebook, to Viber or whatever that may come in handy.
I have set things straight, I told him I'm not your fall back guy. Not an option to be taken for granted. I just don't know if he'll accept it whole-heatedly or still be the persistent fly to roam around me.
One thing is for sure, I would no longer date him. We can go out, but as buddies. No more, no less.
Besides, he doesn't know my sero-status. What could be the worse thing that can happen?
In relation to this, I have some postulates - assumptions or whatever you call it.
The Risk postulate
I am an HIV-positive guy, opened my doors to date another guy (assuming he's negative), went out together for some time, feelings are now on the steady state then admitted my status... he declined and ran away. It's pretty hard to find and date guys whose minds are as wide as an airport runway. Many have told, if you are to disclose your status to a guy, don't do it immediately. Let the connection between you build up before letting it all out.
I have experienced a couple who deemed to show whether they can accept my status or not. I have mentioned in a blog post, perhaps 2 years ago, I asked this guy about the "non-negotiable" factors or traits for a future relationship.. he said, "he must be HIV negative". Ok... PASS.
This is getting into a trend. I won't take a risk.
I'm not really talking about "in general", there are still some guys who are really open minded - those educated bitches who know how to accept and understand the scenario. I know some HIV-positive friends who engage into magnetic or sero-discordant relationships. I'm just wondering - "WHERE THE HELL DO THEY FIND THESE GUYS?!"
Acting Up
All the Lovers - Kylie Minogue
All stimulants and depressants are onto me, what's happening?
Well aside from the burdens mentioned from the previous post, here comes another one.
It's not really a big issue but it really affects my emotional capabilities,
My partner (slash) / date (another slash) / bf to be? is acting up.
I can say immaturity is prevailing, (graduate na ko sa mga ganitong tao, so no big deal) AGAIN.
1. he's too paranoid, every friend, officemate, best friend and person that I text/call/speak to eh may issue. He's too paranoid to think that i'm messing up with him. He even sneaked into my phone and checked all the messages with out me knowing it. I can't blame him nor his past for acting such.. but common man! live in the future and don't dwell yourself from the past. grow up pls.
2. trust issue. cutting it short, HE'S NOT TRUSTING ME.
i think i dont have to explain this.. coming from the horse's mouth.
3. proximity and stability issues. (can really be compromised, but for me plays a crucial role in a relationship) he's from the south, San Pablo, Laguna to be exact. As of now he doesn't have a job since he got sick and still catching up from the loss. He's doing ok now, more than kicking.. he can now fuck ass.
Ok, you might think that I'm too materialistic regarding this but hey, reality bites.
I don't even see the urge and initiation of redeeming himself.. he's like tamad pa.
Maybe it's a sick hang over? Hey, time is running..
I can't elaborate the things happened to us, but what i feel now is certainly different from the time i met him last Self-Empowerment seminar. Things really do change.
I think we should get to know deeper and build the "TRUST" thingy..
I'm not happy.
Ta!
All stimulants and depressants are onto me, what's happening?
Well aside from the burdens mentioned from the previous post, here comes another one.
It's not really a big issue but it really affects my emotional capabilities,
My partner (slash) / date (another slash) / bf to be? is acting up.
I can say immaturity is prevailing, (graduate na ko sa mga ganitong tao, so no big deal) AGAIN.
1. he's too paranoid, every friend, officemate, best friend and person that I text/call/speak to eh may issue. He's too paranoid to think that i'm messing up with him. He even sneaked into my phone and checked all the messages with out me knowing it. I can't blame him nor his past for acting such.. but common man! live in the future and don't dwell yourself from the past. grow up pls.
2. trust issue. cutting it short, HE'S NOT TRUSTING ME.
i think i dont have to explain this.. coming from the horse's mouth.
3. proximity and stability issues. (can really be compromised, but for me plays a crucial role in a relationship) he's from the south, San Pablo, Laguna to be exact. As of now he doesn't have a job since he got sick and still catching up from the loss. He's doing ok now, more than kicking.. he can now fuck ass.
Ok, you might think that I'm too materialistic regarding this but hey, reality bites.
I don't even see the urge and initiation of redeeming himself.. he's like tamad pa.
Maybe it's a sick hang over? Hey, time is running..
I can't elaborate the things happened to us, but what i feel now is certainly different from the time i met him last Self-Empowerment seminar. Things really do change.
I think we should get to know deeper and build the "TRUST" thingy..
I'm not happy.
Ta!
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