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The Chemistry of everyday life, an HIV blogger. Twitter: @tcghiv | Email: tetrahydroziline@gmail.com

Overprotected

I'm the only son.. and child. Not a spoiled brat where every wish came true. My mom did not entertain this fact but instead she was overprotective of me. Since I am the only little darling in this small family, mom was the first in line of defense. I can't really remember the very details of how she do it but all I know was like I'm a boy wrapped in a bubble wrap.

I tried analyzing my current attitudes and perspective towards several things and these were the one I learned:

Undermining self confidence - I strongly admit it, I'm not very confident in every move I take. It seems that I need someone's help especially on decision-making. One evidence I've notice is whenever I'm in a new environment, I just don't know what to do. A clear example of this is when applying for a new job, entering the building, riding the elevator and inquiring on the reception area is the most gruesome and hard part for me. I always opted to be with someone to accompany me and I'm having a hard time coping with this scenario.

Instilled fear of failure - Almost identical to above, since my confidence is not high and set. There's this tendency that I know I will fail. This boils down to being pessimism.
Inability to launch -  being unsure of my passion. Since there was already someone who sets it for me, if you were to ask me what's my talent... I don't have one. I don't sing, not too much of dancing, I can't play any musical instruments... Virtually I have nothing. I'm in my late bloomer years of discovering my talent through the eye of photography and travel. But up until this day my mom doen't want me to pursue this telling me that this is an expensive hobby.

I'm 25 years old and It seems that I haven't found the road to drive to, I am becoming a late bloomer and I'm not getting any younger.

2 comments:

the thoughtful twig { Friday, April 20, 2012 at 5:11:00 PM GMT+8 }
aren't you self-deprecating much too much? cheer up!
The Chemistry Guy { Friday, April 20, 2012 at 8:07:00 PM GMT+8 }
i'm just venting out and i think there's nothing wrong with that.