The Chemistry of Sero-conversion... being HIV positive.

It was a normal weekend, I scheduled myself to see Dra. G of Makati Med for the nth because I saw a tint of blood on my sputum, out of panic and freak out am having thoughts of this might be the dreaded tuberculosis. Still confused of the symptoms since I don't experience any fevers, chills nor sudden weight loss. Before I meet the doctor there was this patient who so skinny, wearing mask, unhealthy skin and aura. Out of curiosity I tried to sneak what he's up to. My excellent 20-20 vision - can even see 8pt font size from meters away, saw his prescription paper saying Lamivudine + Zidovudine with Dra. G's familiar handwriting.. Ok, no need to ask.. He's positive to, I think he's just new to this world. 

I met Dra. G and hurriedly ask for another series of tests to confirm what's going on, she requested - AFB smear and PTB sensitivity and culture. I went to the Pathology lab and had day 1 of 2 of sptum collection, its not that easy to collect sputum and the whole test costs around 7.5 pesos. Quite expensive, good thing I have this medical insurance. 

Right after I finish my hospital obligations, an sms was received from this guy. Let's call him Mr. Teenage dream. Giving a brief background, we met through this gay social site. I did a photo shoot of him unaware that we already chatted. He's taller than I do - 6ft. 2 inches more than mine, I admit he's cute and sweet, have a great physique, and from that point in time I know he's a good guy --- a teenage dream. 

We decided to meet somewhere halfway between the hospital and his pad, took the cab and went to a nearby mall for a dinner and movie date. As expected, he was sweet during the movie screening, touching and holding my hand, doing some laughing matters and yada yada yada. I loosen up and stopped my stiffness and went to the flow. We dined somewhere and continued the sensible chit chat. We were smiling and laughing the whole night and it felt good. Maybe it was one the handful moments that you can see me smile. 

He's naughty and had this double entendre dialogues. Which I find it unusual, so am having this impression of he's just another guy from that gay social site. we went to his pad - which I also expected, a sex date. It's not new. Of course I had this doubt, I don't wanna be guilty of spreading my lifetime award. I set my mind not to do penetration and play it extra safe. The moment we went inside his pad, the action begins. I don't know if he's that horny, wants to sex with me, or excited of doing so or what. Shortly, he planned to penetrate me with his enormous tool - no rubber on it. My mind clicked and said no, don't do that I might bleed. But to his excitement he continues and insisted. I was bluffing it around that he made it, but not. I didn't allow him to enter.  He was so persistent and attempted to do it more than 6x or so. Of course I won't allow it. But all of a sudden he grabbed his poppers, I know what's that for - meant to relax your muscles especially your behind. He let me sniff two times, one with the other. It was my first time to try it and it was like sniffing acetone or a menthol candy. then he tried to enter again, the poppers seem ineffective and my consciousness was still alive, I insisted that it was already hurting and not to do it anymore.. His excitement was still on and grabbed the poppers again and we sniffed. My body was like immune to it and it got no effect. I stopped the action and went to the comfort room as I felt a stinging sensation. And yeah it was bleeding. I sat quietly like and felt anger. No penetration was made so I think everything is still fine. 

I was totally turned off. I just sat quietly and never spoke. I just wanna go home. It felt that I was forced with this. It was planned but I didn't expect this to happen. He was so apologetic. I quietly accepted it and after a couple hours, decided to go home.

With that couple of hours, it seemed nothing happened. I took the chance of observing his actions. He's just the same as others. That poppers alone already showed it. No need for rocket science. Still a good guy - best foot forward. Went home and now wondering what to do with this wound, it hurts but it's tolerable.

Am just sad why this thing happened to me, I know it was planned but never thought like this disastrous. Now he doesn't ring my phone. Who cares, maybe I won't see him again. He and his poppers. Gamitin na lang nya sa iba yun.

By the way, I got the AFB smear result: negative for acid fast bacilli, culture and sensitivity to follow - after 6 weeks.