The Chemistry of Sero-conversion... being HIV positive.

Another flow of Lacrimation.

How I wish I were trapped in my vivid dreams. Away from the harsh nature of reality.
A dream that transport one emotion to another.

How I wish I was a simple living creature. Away from the complexities of human suffering.
A dream that can be controlled every minute.

How I wish I had a shoulder to cry to on. Away from the corner of room, quietly crying.
A dream that eludes time.

How I wish this was never happened. Away from these tears that make my heart ache.
A dream that can born the inexistent.

Once, someone asked what was the happiest day life-to-date. I couldn't answer.
Someone asked, when was the lowest point. There's an answer.
I can't find myself where am I heading. Playing Pokerface is easy.
A realization that no one else can pamper myself but me, Alone.
A realization that no one else can make me happy but myself.
A realization that I need to revolve on my own world.
A realization that no one to help me. Just myself.
Maybe Alone isn't Lonely. Hopefully.
No but's and no ah's.

Friday the 13th is not that good for me.
I know this is another drama, I'm not usually like this.
It's just that, when you need someone to talk to or to share things with then it's the time when people are not around, even worse, no one talk to or share with.

Gonna watch a cartoon movie to lessen up this.

Good night.

As I am writing this blog, rains from the clouds fall so as tears from my eyes..

It seemed that everybody is busy even the blog world guys, no recent and new posts lately.

The title is pretty straight forward. 2010 is the worst.

Every problem and burden were thrown all this year,

financial woes, some personal matters and being sero-converted. I know that I'm a strong person, I usually hurdle all of my problems by myself and I'm proud to say that I can really surpass them out.

Change is the only constant thing in this world, it seems that I can't no longer handle things just the way I did before. As what I learned from the Empowerment seminar,

to lessen your burdens share them, take the risk of letting other know what you feel for they might help you out.

ok, share my problems and burdens, which I really normally don't do.
I tried sharing them and yes, It helped but It's still me... me, who can fix these things.

nasa diyos ang awa nasa tao ang gawa

now, I don't know what to do.. Im tired of crying, my Lacrimal glands are numb na.


Im slowly giving up.. I can't see any reason for me to hold on tight...