The Chemistry of Sero-conversion... being HIV positive.

Recent events and happenings makes me feel so sad, depressed, no sense of belonging, confused, lonely and bothered. I don't wanna elaborate more on each coz they will surely make me look dramatic. Ayoko na ng drama sa buhay, I have a serious health condition and here am I, making it worse. Pero I can't help it. Of course, a normal rational being will always feel a roller coaster-kind of emotions.

Do bad luck comes in 3? Well, this is more than Bad Luck.. As the title goes, Shit happens.

I'll try to enumerate some.

1. ARV side effects are not really getting me in the right track.
I'm having a hard time being a productive guy, I'm really good with Time Management skills but instead of splitting myself up, I'd rather sleep early. Do nothing and stay at home. This is not good.

2. A recent break up, well. It's not really a big deal for me but the Paradigm Shift is causing my trouble.

This is a chain reaction thing... coz,

1/2a. wala na kong constant na kausap, I dont have a bunch of friends to mingle with. I can't join my officemates on late night gimiks since Efavirenz will start to kick head off. I need to go straight sa bahay kasi gegewang ako sa hilo.

1/2b. I spend the weekend on myself, sanay naman na ko even before, doing things alone. but the Paradigm Shift. I try to ask my friends out, I texted them pero walang reply, they're too busy to meet me up, may isa nagpapalibre pa.
Naiisip ko tuloy, baka naman ayaw nila ako makita kasi they know I'm sero-positive.

1/2c. Personal obligations and liabilities are on. I wont elaborate on this na.

I know this is ranting again. Ewan ko ba.

Dapat sanay na ko dito eh. I was raised and left as an independent person!
Only child, no siblings, no brothers nor sisters, not even a relative na ka-close. I'm not close to my mom, so hindi ako pala share ng kwento or anything to her. My dad was long gone.

Just me. Myself.

I need to move forward. I won't look back.